I pulled myself out of bed a little bit early this morning. My oldest had a day off from school so we had nowhere in particular to be today. My little one wouldn't need to eat for another 45 minutes or so which meant I would finally have some quiet uninterrupted time with God. My spiritual life lately ("lately" meaning the last few months) has been made up of small crumbs of time with Him - an encouraging, scripture-filled blog post, a Christ-pointing song on Pandora, a verse of the day on my YouVersion app. I was excited to finally have a meal in God's Word.
I tiptoed downstairs (stopping every time I heard even the slightest movement from the boys room). I was not going to ruin this perfect morning!
I curled up in the recliner with my blanket, coffee, journal, and Bible! Finally! I could now feed my soul without distraction or interruption. Today was going to be a good day!
Then, it happened. The floorboards upstairs creaked under little feet! "Oh no!," I thought. I had been able to read only a chapter and write a few thoughts in my journal. I hadn't even spent five minutes in prayer. It was ruined! My beautiful, quiet, perfect morning was wasted!
I felt frustration and anger start to bubble up in my heart. How was I supposed to be a godly wife, a loving mommy, and an encouraging friend without my perfect time with God? Didn't He realize that my soul was craving to know Jesus more?
Then a small voice spoke to my heart. You CAN know me more.
I am here in the mess, in the frustration, in the chaos.
Perhaps it isn't perfect that you need. I can more clearly show you MY complete sufficiency when things are less than perfect around you.
A deeper relationship with Christ isn't necessarily forged through perfect coffee dates with Him early in the morning, but in turning to Him over and over again throughout the frustrations of the day.
He understands. He loves. He pursues.
He wants to meet me in those places of "less than ideal" and I am able to endure (and even enjoy) the imperfections of life because of His perfect, pursuing love for me!
So, I'm off to face the day and my heart is praying that I will see Him in the midst of the mundane imperfections that are sure to come!